Home
The Adventures of Fluffy the Adventure Squirrel
 
[Most Recent Entries] [Calendar View] [Friends]

Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in The Chronicles of Blaaahnia's LiveJournal:

    [ << Previous 20 ]
    Tuesday, November 24th, 2009
    4:35 pm
    I'm being Robinson Crusified
    It's always kind of a shock how terrible boredom can be. I'm stuck here on my own with no real friends anywhere who are both near enough to hang out with and actually want to :|, no real social life and just getting so bored can make me want to just literally bang my head against a brick wall haha...and worse...it's shit. it's shit it's so shit. I just go mentally catatonic, my brain is going to atrophy and then I'll be even more unbearable! I get frightened I'll go physically catatonic although that's really rare for me. Please could anyone post something that cheers them up? Then I'll do any task you would like me to - challenge me!
    In the meantime here's a picture of some crazy animals:

    http://news.uk.msn.com/environment/wildlife/photos.aspx?cp-documentid=150372361&page=3
    http://news.uk.msn.com/environment/wildlife/photos.aspx?cp-documentid=150372361&page=6
    Tuesday, November 17th, 2009
    5:30 pm
    On further inspection, yes, this is the best poem ever written
    Even better than The Preludes and The Wasteland. Sometimes I really wish I was T.S. Eliot, but then I'd be dead.

    S’io credesse che mia risposta fosse
    A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
    Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
    Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
    Non torno vivo alcun, s’i’odo il vero,
    Senza tema d’infamia ti rispondo.


    LET us go then, you and I,
    When the evening is spread out against the sky
    Like a patient etherised upon a table;
    Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets,
    The muttering retreats
    Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels
    And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells:
    Streets that follow like a tedious argument
    Of insidious intent
    To lead you to an overwhelming question …
    Oh, do not ask, “What is it?”
    Let us go and make our visit.

    In the room the women come and go
    Talking of Michelangelo.

    The yellow fog that rubs its back upon the window-panes,
    The yellow smoke that rubs its muzzle on the window-panes
    Licked its tongue into the corners of the evening,
    Lingered upon the pools that stand in drains,
    Let fall upon its back the soot that falls from chimneys,
    Slipped by the terrace, made a sudden leap,
    And seeing that it was a soft October night,
    Curled once about the house, and fell asleep.

    And indeed there will be time
    For the yellow smoke that slides along the street,
    Rubbing its back upon the window-panes;
    There will be time, there will be time
    To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;
    There will be time to murder and create,
    And time for all the works and days of hands
    That lift and drop a question on your plate;
    Time for you and time for me,
    And time yet for a hundred indecisions,
    And for a hundred visions and revisions,
    Before the taking of a toast and tea.

    In the room the women come and go
    Talking of Michelangelo.

    And indeed there will be time
    To wonder, “Do I dare?” and, “Do I dare?”
    Time to turn back and descend the stair,
    With a bald spot in the middle of my hair—
    [They will say: “How his hair is growing thin!”]
    My morning coat, my collar mounting firmly to the chin,
    My necktie rich and modest, but asserted by a simple pin—
    [They will say: “But how his arms and legs are thin!”]
    Do I dare
    Disturb the universe?
    In a minute there is time
    For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.

    For I have known them all already, known them all:—
    Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,
    I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;
    I know the voices dying with a dying fall
    Beneath the music from a farther room.
    So how should I presume?

    And I have known the eyes already, known them all—
    The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase,
    And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin,
    When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall,
    Then how should I begin
    To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways?
    And how should I presume?

    And I have known the arms already, known them all—
    Arms that are braceleted and white and bare
    [But in the lamplight, downed with light brown hair!]
    It is perfume from a dress
    That makes me so digress?
    Arms that lie along a table, or wrap about a shawl.
    And should I then presume?
    And how should I begin?
    . . . . .
    Shall I say, I have gone at dusk through narrow streets
    And watched the smoke that rises from the pipes
    Of lonely men in shirt-sleeves, leaning out of windows?…

    I should have been a pair of ragged claws
    Scuttling across the floors of silent seas.
    . . . . .
    And the afternoon, the evening, sleeps so peacefully!
    Smoothed by long fingers,
    Asleep … tired … or it malingers,
    Stretched on the floor, here beside you and me.
    Should I, after tea and cakes and ices,
    Have the strength to force the moment to its crisis?
    But though I have wept and fasted, wept and prayed,
    Though I have seen my head [grown slightly bald] brought in upon a platter,
    I am no prophet—and here’s no great matter;
    I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,
    And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker,
    And in short, I was afraid.

    And would it have been worth it, after all,
    After the cups, the marmalade, the tea,
    Among the porcelain, among some talk of you and me,
    Would it have been worth while,
    To have bitten off the matter with a smile,
    To have squeezed the universe into a ball
    To roll it toward some overwhelming question,
    To say: “I am Lazarus, come from the dead,
    Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all”—
    If one, settling a pillow by her head,
    Should say: “That is not what I meant at all.
    That is not it, at all.”

    And would it have been worth it, after all,
    Would it have been worth while,
    After the sunsets and the dooryards and the sprinkled streets,
    After the novels, after the teacups, after the skirts that trail along the floor—
    And this, and so much more?—
    It is impossible to say just what I mean!
    But as if a magic lantern threw the nerves in patterns on a screen:
    Would it have been worth while
    If one, settling a pillow or throwing off a shawl,
    And turning toward the window, should say:
    “That is not it at all,
    That is not what I meant, at all.”
    . . . . .
    No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;
    Am an attendant lord, one that will do
    To swell a progress, start a scene or two,
    Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,
    Deferential, glad to be of use,
    Politic, cautious, and meticulous;
    Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;
    At times, indeed, almost ridiculous—
    Almost, at times, the Fool.

    I grow old … I grow old …
    I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.

    Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?
    I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.
    I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.

    I do not think that they will sing to me. 125

    I have seen them riding seaward on the waves
    Combing the white hair of the waves blown back
    When the wind blows the water white and black.

    We have lingered in the chambers of the sea
    By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown
    Till human voices wake us, and we drown
    Monday, November 2nd, 2009
    5:52 pm
    Dear Facebook...
    Please please please stop inviting me to "reconnect" with Michelle, who I "haven't contacted in a while." I know I haven't contacted Michelle in a while. I haven't contacted Michelle in a while because Michelle is dead. Do I really need to be reminded whenever I log into facebook?
    Wednesday, October 28th, 2009
    10:38 am
    Tuesday, October 27th, 2009
    10:20 pm
    Stuff I would like for Christmas
    Farrr in advance :/

    Lazy Oaf
    Unicorn necklace http://www.lazyoaf.co.uk/product_info.php?products_id=1496
    Oversized bird tee http://www.lazyoaf.co.uk/product_info.php?products_id=1487
    Polka dot face tee http://www.lazyoaf.co.uk/product_info.php?products_id=1507
    Guard dog brooches http://www.lazyoaf.co.uk/product_info.php?cPath=86_88&products_id=1419
    Sailor Sweater dress http://www.lazyoaf.co.uk/product_info.php?cPath=22_27&products_id=1468
    Fox stole scarf http://www.lazyoaf.co.uk/product_info.php?products_id=1152
    Happy sad bag http://www.lazyoaf.co.uk/product_info.php?cPath=72_78&products_id=1202

    www.surlatable.com
    Epic tea set http://www.surlatable.com/gs/eiffel-tower-tea-set.shtml

    Accessorize
    Recorder http://www.monsoon.co.uk/invt/59938899
    Rocking horse necklace http://www.monsoon.co.uk/invt/58252281&bklist=icat,5,shop,accessorize,accessorizejewellery,accessorizenecklaces
    Tuesday, October 20th, 2009
    7:54 pm
    FUCKING TRUTH MATE
    --->--->
    http://www.illuminatedmind.net/2008/12/11/the-best-way-to-solve-a-problem-give-up/

    To see this in action I suggest reading "The Conscientious Moomins"
    Tuesday, October 13th, 2009
    5:41 pm
    So I'm 20 and still basically a spot on the pretty, plastic face of society.
    Wow, sounds like a good time to take up blogging again!

    MEANWHILE:

    http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/profile?id=1003627

    is my new place for seeking attention on the intahwebs.

    P.S. I got a tattoo!
    Friday, August 28th, 2009
    11:08 pm
    Sooo, arrrrgh, help me please?
    So I was thinking of getting THIS TATTOO:

    http://s926.photobucket.com/albums/ad101/JaneDont/?action=view¤t=images.jpg

    That's not a real design, it's an early mock up by me on err MS Paint, but I would basically like *that*, but with the petals of the flower slightly bigger, but not like taking up the whole space.

    Thing is I really like it and I have a reason for making that design, but it's not something I want to shout about. It's a common type of tattoo and I hear a lot of tattoo snobs talking shit about people who get common tattoos if you don't provide justify your choice to them. Do you think I should get the tattoo (it has to be on my inner wrist) or do you think they would be all mean when I go to the tattoo parlour? Could anyone here with tattoos tell me what the tattoo parlour people were like to you?

    ETA: I just realised the dates on my lj are completely wrong? How can I change that?
    Tuesday, August 18th, 2009
    4:53 pm
    So I'm back from the Summer of, um Like?
    I think all my friends are Sharon Cherski. Stop being Sharon Cherski!
    SERIOUSLY. I won't be Rayann as long as you all stop being collective Sharon. IT GETS HARD TO HANDLE.
    Tuesday, July 7th, 2009
    9:57 am
    It appears I forgot to update my livejournal

    Have you ever considered converting to another religion?


    View 504 Answers



    When I was little I briefly wanted to be a Muslim because I wanted to wear a ninja burka. Then I read up on the religion and decided not to aft. I've really alwa


    .... I found this on "restore from saved draft, I think it's a "writers block" thing from about 5 years ago, but I don't really understand what I was talking about
    Sunday, June 7th, 2009
    4:51 pm
    ...till human voices wake us, then we drown.
    I've been so bored I didn't even realise how long I'd been gone. Proof that getting off the internet doesn't necessarily mean you get a life. Been doing stuff. went to Cambridge...beaut. I was jealous! But not that jealous, which is good because I still have to live in London! But I found myself the perfect little house there, although I'd still rather live in a houseboat, because then I could run away to sea without getting out of bed.
    Still living at home feeling like this bird: http://drnorth.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/an_experiment_on_a_bird_in_an_air_pump_by_joseph_wright_of_derby_1768.jpg.
    But I *do* have a job offer. Although until my official start date I still have to pretend to look for jobs to get my money. Stupid loophole... Anyhoo, I'm supposed to be a carer for the elderly which basically amounts to visiting oldies and helping them up the stairs, making them tea and a boiled egg, sweeping their floor etc...and the odd bit of catheter changing. But I don't care because I'd quite like to be a nurse, and nurses have to deal with much more daunting things than bags of poo. I could have a teaching assistant job which would be lovely as I wouldn't have to travel around, but I haven't heard back from them so assume I've been rejected :(. Meh. Anyway I have little to think about, and little to say, other than I voted in Euro Elections (I voted for Labour. I actually thought the Conservative European manifesto was much better, but I felt sorry for Gordon Brown and I know they won't win, so I thought if someone voted for them it might cheer them up a bit. Or cheer Hazel Blears down a bit. What is she on? Stop smiling like a rabid pixie! I'm probably a bad citizen.) and bought some very lovely clothes, mostly raided Accesorize. Seems I'm becoming a vapid clothes horse, which isn't so bad as long as I keep taking my pills haha. Although I slightly miss my Temazepam, even though I sleep fine (constantly :|) now and I couldn't drink with it, I just liked calling it Amazingpam....
    Well. I'm no T.S.Eliot and if I haven't got anything to say I can't put silence on a page. So I'll shout into the wilderness here and see if anyone's still listening after all this time. And if they're not, it can be a message in a bottle for people to look at thousands of years later and say "My God, people were boring in the 21st century"
    Thursday, April 30th, 2009
    3:10 pm
    UGHH
    I NEED A STYLE
    Sunday, April 19th, 2009
    11:03 pm
    Just reminding myself I have this journal!
    I have a lot to say later, too. Well actually, it would be more accurate to say I have very little to say but in a lot of words. As for now, can't be arsed to give anything more than a general overview. Still dysfunctional; still unemployed. Slightly fatter thanks to Easter. No taller (lol). Currently drafting and re-drafting a CV, still something I revile, but still do anyway since the business world is built on dishonesty. At least I'll never end up like the people on the Apprentice. No money is worth that :(
    I think being a rich professional would be a bit wasted on me anyway. You either have to bullshit or work hard, and they're both a boring waste of time, especially now I've decided I only want to live in a boat with pretty colours, and that my favourite wine is only Jacob's Creek Grenache Shiraz (no really, it's a supermarket gem).
    I was going to show you all a picture of a pretty butterfly :D to celebrate spring, but instead in my search I found something not dirt-cheap I'd like after all: http://www.paul.uk.net/grainnemorton/images/bracelets/butterfly-bracelet.jpg
    How lovely! :D
    Most of this post is advertising, isn't it? Obviously this is what "the real world" does to you.
    Does anyone else have poor sound quality on Spotify? I'm not sure if it's Spotify or my headphones which are the problem...obviously, there are ways of determining but I can't be arsed :|
    P.S. I saw the Lion King liiiive the other day. It had amazing costumes, still think it has ideologically sketchy undertones, but it's not really a problem because it's about baby lions :).
    Thursday, April 2nd, 2009
    10:05 pm
    When you're caught between the devil and the deep blue sea, you might as well enjoy the view
    Sometimes I think I'm a bit of a drunk :/.
    Oh wow, it's been ages since I've posted on here. I wish I had something proper to blog about. Or even not, I just liked rambling unelfconsciously, but these days I'm just such a bore that me being on here at all isn't even vaguely justifiable. I am actually going to Dublin :D....buuut since it hasn't actually happened yet, I have nothing to say about that. I think verbalising things is often a lot harder at this time of year, because all the flowers and sunsine are still so new that my mind gets caught up in it, and then the whole pattern of my brain becomes too visceral and physical. Like I don't relate to the world in words so much anymore, more like pictures that I can't recreate. All I think of to talk about right now is caterpillars. I think I'm getting a fixation, its just that I can't believe they are actually the same thing as butterflies, it's soooo amazing =). I just want to know if it hurts them when they turn into mush, I hope not.
    Then again, babies don't really look much like people either, they look like they should be picked out of a field. I can see why some people tell their children like that, they do look like potatoes a bit. But now I keep getting the mental picture of a mandrake in my head and I'm not quite sure where my idea of a baby ends and my idea of a mandrake starts.
    OMG. WTF. SHUT UP, ME.
    Sometimes I wish I'd been born in the mid 50s, so I could be a hippy by now, I think that would make me more tolerable somehow (I wouldn't have internet for one :/)
    I'm actually amazed at the amount of mood options on here!

    Current Mood: recumbent
    Current Music: Gorillaz - Clint Eastwood
    Tuesday, March 17th, 2009
    6:53 pm
    The lowdown on the shit that's been going down
    I'm leaving Lancaster. It's just not working out for me. I know you'll probably all feel like I'm quitting but I feel proud that I've finally made this big decision all by myself, and truth is I'm glad to leave. I'm just relieved. I'm not happy here. Even when I'm not unhappy, it feels surreal...I feel like Alice through the looking glass...it's all been very interesting but I just want to go home. Just to warn everyone, I'm heading back to London and trying to sort myself the fuck out in some way or another...might go back to uni 2009 or 2010, point is, I cocked it all up now and I'm going home because it's shit.
    Yeah.
    Lots of love, Hannah
    Thursday, March 5th, 2009
    1:18 am
    I feel so ecstatic, on the one hand
    But on the other hand I feel so desperately unhappy.
    And I just don't know what to do.
    Thursday, February 5th, 2009
    11:40 pm
    So, you might have noticed I've been on yet another brief hiatus...
    Sorry about that. Not that I'm imagining it's had a deep impact on any of your lives, but I just think people should know that I still like to hear about you...it's just that I've been having, basically, a slight breakdown of sorts lately. Nothing big, but I've just not had anything non-whiny to say. Or more accurately, on the rare occasions I've had anything non-whiny to say I usually wanted to cherish the moment of non-whininess by doing things other than being online. I still like to read everyone else's journals, but I might not update mine for a while (NB this is not a promise. In the unlikely event that I feel like it, I could start updating it every day!) Basically I've been diagnosed with depression and am trying to get sorted out...I don't know, I find this quite awkward. My Mother told me to console myself by remembering that Stephen Fry also has depression, but this method doesn't work as I have the double handicap of having depression and not being Stephen Fry. Such is life. On an extremely tenuously related note, does anyone else think Stephen Fry is basically the human equivalent of tea? I mean he just is. And everyone likes tea. Although according to facebook, there are in fact 20 people who don't like Stephen Fry. Whose name I think I've said far too many times in this post, and if the MI5 run word-search-count-thingies, they're probably watching me under suspicion of being Britain's answer to That-Bloke-Who-Shot-That-President-Because-Of-Jodie-Foster. Oh well. Bugger MI5.
    More excitingly, I also got stranded by the snow this weekend! While attending a funeral. If that isn't cheering circumstances, I don't know what is :|...

    Current Mood: as you might guess, not great
    Current Music: atomic - blondie
    Saturday, January 17th, 2009
    5:33 pm
    I HATE THE WAY OUR CULTURE DOESN'T REACT PROPERLY TO WINTER
    I actually think I will DIE when I go out tonight. I am walking around naked with no heating on to try and adjust myself but nothing can match the Arctic Wind season outside WHY exactly, can we not go clubbing in parkas and woolly hats and scarves? The flimsy jacket which the Northerners already think is strange of me to wear on a night out....IS NOT ENOUGH!
    Also, the "don't open an umbrella indoors" rule is stupid, because if you don't, you get rained on while opening/shutting your umbrella. Just not good. And I hate clubbing on my period because I always worry I'll forget not to let anyone touch my knickers...but I expect no one wanted to know that...alas! Woe is me!
    ETA: Just vommed. SO, staying home with a cup of tea being a bore. AGAIN. I am destined to sobriety. WOE. WOE. WOE.
    Tuesday, January 13th, 2009
    11:51 pm
    Is life beautiful?
    Do you think so? :)
    3:11 pm
    You might have noticed I've been on a brief hiatus!
    I don't think I mentioned before...but yeah well, now I'm back! Hoorah! But I'm in a bad mood atm :( (out of teabags and cba to go to the shop) so I'm not going to post right now, but I'm sure I can manage a page of inanity soon, or at least beat my fists o the keyboard.
[ << Previous 20 ]
About LiveJournal.com

Advertisement